<i gave you my heart but you broke it */> window.defaultStatus=" i give you my heart";
Saturday, December 30, 2006


206, i welcome you.
but i'm afraid i welcome you with only one arm.
because the other arm is for hugging thirty-seven people.
always and always, even when secondary 2 ends,
my other arm will still embrace the thirty-seven people.
and so i start a new year,
still my happy self,
still my lame self,
but not myself,
but with thirty-seven people in my heart.
and the special few of the thirty-seven will not only be in my heart, but in every memory i will carry with me to school on third of January.
always.
and always.

gave my heart */ on 5:14:00 PM


this is it.
i know you don't care anymore.
i know however hard i try, the friendship will never resume its former state.
i feel like yelling.
yelling about the great change.
this tremendous change in you.
or is it me?
have i changed?
have i allowed this friendship to dwindle?
no, i do not think so.
i think its you, my friend.
in front of you, i still act the same though.
the crazy person you used to laugh at.
but however happy i try to stay, there is always sadness stealthily creeping into my heart. sadness of the great change.
i don't blame you.
i blame myself, for not giving you the strength to stop changing.

gave my heart */ on 5:06:00 PM

Wednesday, December 13, 2006


i have been getting myself sad thinking about certain things i shall not mention.
its probably a stage as maturation of a teenager occurs.
but then i have this sudden realisation that life is meant to be lived to the fullest.( i know its clique and i know i'm terribly slow)
so i declare that i shall still stay happy.
and eccentric. and weird. and blur. as the old meng was.
since the holidays started, maybe its the lack of lame experiences, maybe its the lack of friendship and social life, maybe its the 5 CAP essays i have to complete, maybe its the dread of a new school year, maybe its nolstagia of oneohfour again, but sadness comes so easily and so swiftly it dampens your mood so much that i lose all interest in blogging, tv, sims, and everything.
i just hole up and sleep.
boo. it was so not me. i started reprimanding myself for slacking in my badminton stamina, practice and everything. bang the wall, man. i want to be able to run swiftly on court, my previous haven, and wield the racket with absolute prowress again.
not forgetting the damn CAP which got on my nerves. i just DO NOT have patience to do five pieces of wonderful work.
and then there was simmy going to new zealand. somehow, that too, got me to start thinking so seriously about things my brain was about to split up.
ha. scratch all that. i shall not think so much anymore. not think about how useless everything seems and whining about the lost past. i should
look forward!
look forward!
i'm still a tree!
with lots of chlorophyll!
yay. i think i still can hang out till school re-opens.
now, please let inspiration pop into my head. the five pieces of compos will not appear like that.

gave my heart */ on 10:13:00 PM

Tuesday, December 05, 2006


i am leaving for camp in...say...TWO hours.
i have TWO hours to finish a short post, hopefully play some sims(AHAAAHA) and tag some blogs, maybe?
i extend my sincere apologies for not updating, HEHE. i have been a busy girl.
actually, my meaning of busy is hogging up the computer with sims, or watching smiling pasta on the computer.
not very meaningful, any of these things.
i have not even finished a decent piece for CAP portfolio, and i think i'm just going to die. after camp ends, i only have, A MERE 2? 3? weeks to rush out 5 ORIGINAL, CREATIVE, pieces. gah. i really don't know if i should have tried to join this. i don't have talent like the O knowledgable one, nor a great sense of dramitisation like tienli. boo. chinese CAP would probably be easier.

anyway, term's starting soon. somehow, i really dread this. not just because of the change of classes, but the horrible lifestyle that is going to begin again. now school's going to need lots of readjustment without oneohfour, and that is real bad. i think on the day when they post our new classes on inet, i will just faint if i don't get into the same class as any oneohfourian. sigh.

coming to rgs has had its good and bad points. i seem to have lost alot, yet gained alot. i gained new friends, a new lifestyle, a more interesting curriculum, and blah. what with sewing, dancing and all. but yet, i feel that i've lost some part of me out there. sigh. the last sunday, when i went for badminton, for the first time, the VERY first time, i actually wanted time to go faster! ??@@!@?? i actually thought that! i was so bogging tired, i just wanted to sleep. sigh. my stamina's probably zero now. i don't know if i have made wrong decisions since coming to rgs, be it joining guitar, or taking up badminton as an outside sport again, but it has definitely been a nice year after all.

the new yeat may be great, it may be dull, it may be dreadful, but whatever it is, i guess since the year's not going to go away any time, i have to go through it.


gave my heart */ on 10:50:00 AM